Doesn't seem to be a shadow in the city

London is scorching. The asphalt is melting and finally I can leave my umbrellas in the hallway. I'm glad the last week of my 20s are finally going to feel like summer.

Yesterday we schlepped to Nunhead for a friend's barbecue. Nunhead has many hills, and in summer it seems hotter than anywhere else in south London, but the trip is usually worth the aches. I can't think of too many better ways to spend a sunlit Sunday than sitting in someone's back garden with meat cooking, drinks cooling, Aerosmith and Thin Lizzy Spotifying, and good people talking about European festivals, the problem with 'girl bands' and the wonder of Springsteen. I've lived in Peckham for three years now, and one sensation I will always associate with it is that hazy, can't-quite-see-out-of-the-lower-corners-of-my-vision, sunbleached late afternoon feeling that takes you over as you walk home after drinking in the sunshine. I never felt it anywhere else; picnics in north London never left me so hazed out, even if they went on twice as long. Perhaps Peckham has its own microclimate. It's almost exhausting but it feels like friends and not at all like work, and I know I'll always remember it.

Thirty is an odd one. I don't really care about life landmarks like this - I'm more concerned with banking treasured memories than marking off milestones But I can't deny it feels a bit odd. I feel accelerated; I feel like I have to hurry up and Get Things Done. I've always been scared of missing out, not having all the fun I could, letting the good times pass me by. So much so that in my mostly-legal hedonism I've probably not achieved some of the serious shit I could have. I want to be the girl with the most cake, both had and kept; I have no interest in putting away childish things or retreating into grown up greyness, but I know I need to put more time and push into painting, find a better-paying day-job, and generally figure my shit out. Suddenly I realise that the kids coming up from behind are ten years younger than me. Bruce Springsteen was 26 when he made Born to Run, and that was his third record. I have some catching up to do.

Summer solutions

.......I haven't found any yet.


I'm trying out clothes to get me through the summer, through festivals and city heat. I will not resort to smock dresses and shapeless tops. I'm not flapping about in flipflops or wearing the smallest thing I can find simply to combat the incoming heat. I've worn my used-to-be-skinny grey jeans every day for the past week, with sailor vests and unbuttoned men's shirts tucked in at the back, or loose black cut-off jersey tops, or semi-halterneck mesh-cutaway vests. I'm bored. BORED. I want some elegance this summer.

Some ideas:



I got this grey silk dress at the weekend in Appletree. Very comfortable and airy, and I like the shape and the satin roses. I need to find ways to wear it in the daytime, but it'll be nice at night, with black tights and low-heeled second-hand ankle boots or with high black suede platform heels.



These shorts were once a pair of black trousers I bought five years ago. Hell am I paying for new shorts when I can modify things I know already fit me. I'm not sure about the length yet - I've rolled them into cuffs and pinned them, but not sewn them into place yet. Constructive opinions welcome. I probably wouldn't wear them with this top, either... I'd likely keep it monochrome with a loose top tucked in, or a satin 30s-style cap-sleeved top. They will solve lots of problems with tops I have that need tucking into higher-waisted shorts and skirts than I currently possess. Shoes... not sure yet.



Tried this shirt-dress on in Appletree when I bought the above silk dress. The sleeves and collar were too big but a bit of rolling fixed that. I like it but I'm not sure if I like it enough to buy it. I'd rather buy a large men's shirt from M&S, sans flowers, and attempt the same shape with it than spend £60 on this [though I don't know how I'd do the rolled collar, which in hindsight I really like]. Still, it is an idea. Nice with gladiator sandals, or white tennis shoes.

None of these options seem quite sharp enough yet though, and being pale [and I'm not doing anything about that] the easy-breezey nautical looks that work on tanned girls won't look right on me; I think I need to play up the contrast, rather than try to look classically 'summery'. I'm just not a summery-looking lady.

I want to look relaxed and comfortable..

...but more chic than everyone else. Is that wrong?

Summer dressing

I detest flip-flops. What an unimaginative and thoroughly uncomfortable breed of footwear they are. Almost no-one can look dignified in them, and how they stay on one's feet I'll never know. Even the sound they make is abhorrent. I saw a man on the tube in them this week, with loose shorts and a dark, very heavy wool jumper - what an odd combination. Insult was added to injury when, sitting two seats away from me, he took his flipflops off and curled his bare [and not so fragrant] feet up on the seat next to me, and fiddled with them for the duration of the journey. I was not impressed.

Still, I have now come dangerously close to owning something resembling the hated item myself. For a few weeks now I've been on the prowl for some patent red gladiator sandals - no variation on this would do. It's rare I buy something purely to match one item in my wardrobe, but this was a necessity.



They were £20 from Aldo, which is about as reasonable as I think I am likely to find without venturing into Primark. I'd have preferred something more heavily styled, and in nicer, more tomatoey patent than this, but whaddayagonnado? After wearing them around the house a bit, I think better of them than I did initially. And they strap around the ankles, so are very much not flipflops. My integrity is saved.

I shall wear them thusly:



I bought this grey silk ankle-length Jigsaw dress secondhand at least two years ago, and have never worn it, lacking the right footwear. It will make its debut at my friend's housewarming barbecue in three weeks. Like the footwear, the bias-cut floaty dress is not my usual style - I have resolved to be sharp this summer, not boho-pretty-pretty - but it is lovely enough that I'll make an exception. The red patent sandals will keep it safely out of hippy territory, along with a narrow, chic belt and my old silver pistol necklace.